In late March, John Bear, 62, of El Cerrito, CA., was at his wits' end. He knew his 91-year-old aunt Helene, whom he takes care of, was in Stamford Hospital. But he couldn't get anyone to tell him why.

His aunt, who he delicately describes as "extremely difficult", wasn't taking Bear's phone calls in her hospital room. He couldn't reach her doctor, and the nurses on the floor wouldn't release any details about her condition.

"We didn't know if it was a crisis or not," Bear said. "We needed someone to be persistant and get all the facts together, to talk to her personal physician and the hospital staff. We needed really knowledgeable advice."

For the last 10 years Bear and his wife had waged a long-distance struggle with his aunt's needs and her temperament. She had lived in five retirement homes in five different cities during that time, and wasn't happy anywhere.

Bear declined to give his aunt's last name in order to protect her privacy. She's the type of person who will call the front desk 30, 40, 50 times a day," Bear said.

An acquaintance suggested Bear look into hiring a geriatric care manager to coordinate his aunt's care. When he found Bette Bonné of GERIatric Care Associates in Stamford, it was like an epiphany.

"She is the perfect person. She knows everyone at all the facilities," Bear said.

Bonné quickly arranged for a mental competency assessment to find out if his aunt was able to return to her home at Westfield Court in Stamford. Bear had spent more than 20 hours on the phone during the past weeks trying to do the same thing.

"And this is a thing that Bette did in three minutes," he said.

Before long, his aunt was back in Westfield Court. Bonné set up a round-the-clock schedule of nurses aides, and stopped by with a box of Godiva chocolates for the aunt on her birthday.

The field of geriatric care managers, and the related area of elder care referrals, is growing dramatically. The Tuscon, Arizona-based National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers had 900 members in 1997; it has more than 1,300 now. The biggest reason for the growth, experts say, is that busy adult children now are more likely to have their own demanding jobs, and children, to take care of.

In addition, the complex system of Medicare, Medicaid, and private insurance is difficult to navigate, as are retirement home options that range from short-term rehabilitation, to assisted living or skilled nursing environments.

To find a geriatric care manager, consult the Website of the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers at www.caremanager.org.

By Rebecca Sausner - Staff Writer